we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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