i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
