I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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