just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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