Sry I called you an 8
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
