He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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