They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
