Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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