I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
