I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
