Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
