you would pick up someone in the library
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
