your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
