Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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