dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize