They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
