We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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