He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize