We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think people are normalizing furries
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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