But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
