he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
