I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
