she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
