Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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