Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i've created a new STD.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
