After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
