So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
