Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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