How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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