I wish my penis had an off switch
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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