i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
