I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
