pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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