why didn't you poke me back
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I am spending my child support on dildos
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
