i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
