i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
