I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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