Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
