I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Sext me about skeletons
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
