You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
