Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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