Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
