On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
