Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
