I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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