Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
