the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
