I am puke
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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