What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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