i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm like, not good at living.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
