i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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