And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
