had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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