lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
