she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
