I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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