Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
